TOP5 PETS

Humor with a cold wet nose

Comments? Want join the kennel
of Top5 Pets writers?
E-mail The List Vet

TOP5 PETS HAS MOVED

Dreadful sorry about the intrusive Tripod ads. We have pulled up stakes and moved to an ad-free environment*.

Join us in our new space by closing the panel on the left then clicking this link:

http://coldwetnose.ws

If the unwanted sidebar window on the left opens up along with it, you can get rid of the offending portion by clicking the "x" in its upper right-hand corner. Click on the actual window on the left, not on the explanatory graphic below.

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* Ok, there are a few small ads at the bottom of the main page, BUT Top5 Pets directly benefits from them. We keep them unobtrusive.

Top5 Pets is owned by
Chris White www.topfive.com


Top 50 Pet Sites
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              TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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                      Please do not litter.

                         March 12, 2001

                        NOTE FROM SANDRA:

    Think you've got what it takes to joke with the big dogs?
    Oh yeah?  Then send a 5-item list on any pet-related topic
      to Top5Pets@topfive.com.  If it makes the dog's tail 
        wag and the cat doesn't bury it in the litter box 
      we'll add you to our kennel of regular contributors. 
 
       Now for this week's topic... Responsible pet owners
      recognize the importance of spaying or neutering yet 
       discussing the subject makes many people -- and no 
         doubt a lot of pets -- a weensy bit squeamish.  
 So we here at Top5 Pets thought we'd help out by suggesting...
 

             The Top 7 Euphemisms for "Getting Fixed"


 7> Aroma Therapy
 
 6> Raising the low-rider
 
 5> Catsnip
 
 4> Losing your balls under the sofa. Forever.
 
 3> You've got no male
 
 2> Two balls, one strike
 

    and the Number 1 Euphemism for "Getting Fixed"...
 

 1> Visiting Hillary



             [   Copyright 2001 by Chris White    ]
             [       http://www.topfive.com       ]



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Selected from 27 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today's Top 5 Pets List authors are:
------------------------------------------------------------------
Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR           --  1  (Good boy! 1st #1)
Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD    --  2
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX            --  3, 6
Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA          --  4
Paul Paternoster, Los Altos, CA   --  5
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA      --  5
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia --  7
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA    --  Topic, RU name, Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington VA         -- List Vet

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                  Euphemisms for "Getting Fixed"
                 RUNNERS UP list  --  "Cut List"
------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Helping Rover clear the high fences
          (Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia)
 
Kitty-cornered
          (Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA)
 
Lassiectomy
          (Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA)
 
Putting away the pink pencil
          (Paul Paternoster, Los Altos, CA)
 
Putting just part of him to sleep
          (Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR)
 
Switching from leg-humping to Frisbee-catching
          (Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia)
 
The Ultimate Grooming Session
          (Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL)
 
The worst game of "Fetch" ever
          (Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL)
 

Runner Up list name
          (Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)


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[      Copyright 2001 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]
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