TOP5 PETS
Humor with a cold wet nose
Humor with a cold wet nose
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TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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April 16, 2001
NOTE FROM SANDRA:
Wednesday, April 18 is Pet Owner's Independence Day.
Take the day off and send your pet to work in your place.
The Top 8 Things Overheard in the
Office on Pet Owner's Independence Day
8> "What the heck kind of maze is this? I've been through every
friggin' cubicle, now where's the cheese???"
7> "My sty at home is cleaner than this cubicle!"
6> "One cubicle marked, 39 left to go"
5> "Hey, Fido, you were right -- the water in the executive
toilet is much zestier!"
4> "Peterson! Stop kissing my ass! Your nose is cold!"
3> "Where's the boss? My human always comes home saying 'piss
on that bastard!'"
2> "Hey Rex, sniffing hard or hardly sniffing?"
and the Number 1 Thing Overheard in the
Office on Pet Owner's Independence Day...
1> "You don't have to be rabid to work here... but it helps."
[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
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Selected from 33 submissions from 14 contributors.
Today's Top 5 Pets List authors are:
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Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL -- 1, 2 (Good boy! 4th #1)
Kathy Good, Phoenix, AZ -- 3, 7
Adam Chunn, Houston, TX -- 4, Banner Tag
Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 5
Kate Melnyk, Stray -- 6
Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD -- 8
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA -- Topic
Adam Chunn, Houston, TX -- Runner Up list name
Sandra Hull, Arlington VA -- List Vet
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Things Overheard in the Office on Pet Owner's Independence Day
RUNNERS UP list -- Walking Papers
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"...sent her cat in instead. All the damn thing does is sleep at
her desk, idly scratch herself and sleep some more.... No, I can't
tell the difference, either..."
(Dawson Rambo, Stray)
"Her dog really DOES look like her!"
(Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR)
"Jeez... his owner is an ass-kisser, and he's a butt-sniffer..."
(Dawson Rambo, Stray)
"No, baby, it doesn't mean *that* kind of independence; I still
consider us married."
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
"Rise up! You have nothing to lose but your leashes!"
(Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL)
"Sit! Stay! Now... double-click that "Excel" icon. No! SIT!
STAY! Now take the mouse..."
(Dawson Rambo, Stray)
"Sorry about the soiled purchase orders, Sir, but Mr. Truby
keeps burying things in my out-box."
(Adam Chunn, Houston, TX)
"Heeeeyyy... maybe we should lose Joe, and keep his ferrets
instead. Those reports were done in half the time -- and the
spelling is impeccable!!"
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
Tropical fish: "I'll meet you at the water warmer."
(Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD)
Turtle: "This Bourne shell seems mighty flimsy to me."
(Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD)
Runner Up list name
(Adam Chunn, Houston, TX)
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[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White All rights reserved. ]
[ Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use ]
[ in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com" ]
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