Humor with a cold wet nose

Comments? Want join the kennel
of Top5 Pets writers?
E-mail The List Vet


Dreadful sorry about the intrusive Tripod ads. We have pulled up stakes and moved to an ad-free environment*.

Join us in our new space by closing the panel on the left then clicking this link:

If the unwanted sidebar window on the left opens up along with it, you can get rid of the offending portion by clicking the "x" in its upper right-hand corner. Click on the actual window on the left, not on the explanatory graphic below.

click on x to close Tripod window

* Ok, there are a few small ads at the bottom of the main page, BUT Top5 Pets directly benefits from them. We keep them unobtrusive.

Top5 Pets is owned by
Chris White

Top 50 Pet Sites
                    Now with *new* chewy bits!

                          June 25, 2001

     The Top 10 Signs Your Pet Had a Party While You Were Out

10> All your tequila is still there, but the worms are missing 
    from the bottles.

 9> Hair balls on the ceiling

 8> The fish are swimming in tonic water.

 7> There's a flea collar hanging from the ceiling fan and the 
    house reeks of cheap catnip.

 6> There's vomit all over the floor -- and they're all too drunk
    to remember to eat it.

 5> Your angelfish are trying a little *too* hard to look angelic.

 4> For the rest of the week her scent markers smell like bourbon.

 3> Your diet pills are all gone and the bearings on the hamster's
    exercise wheel have melted.

 2> All the turtles got stuck on their backs during the limbo

 and the Number 1 Sign Your Pet Had a Party While You Were Out...

 1> An infinite number of typewritten bread-and-butter notes begin
    arriving in the mail.

              [   Copyright 2001 by Chris White    ]
              [       ]

Selected from 56 submissions from 19 contributors.
Today's Top 5 Pets List authors are:
Justin Cascio, Perth Amboy, NJ    --  1 (Attaboy! 2nd #1)
Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY        --  2, 6
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX            --  3
Kevin Paul Wickart, Normal, IL    --  4
Beth Baniszewski, Columbia, MD    --  5, RU list name
Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA    --  7
Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA          --  8, 9
Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR           -- 10
Jim Thompson, Minneapolis, MN     -- Topic
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- RU list name, Banner Tag
Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA        -- Runner Up list name
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA        -- List Vet

          Signs Your Pet Had a Party While You Were Out
                RUNNERS UP list  --  Party Poopers

Anti-abortion material is everywhere.  (Oops!  That's a sign your
pet had a Republican Party while you were out.)
          (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

Condom wrappers, empty cigarette packs, and pizza boxes are 
littered all around the heated rock.
          (Chuck Schultz, Eastaboga, AL)

Despite the fact that you and Ed Asner aren't speaking anymore, 
the Jacuzzi is completely clogged with hair again.
          (Justin Cascio, Perth Amboy, NJ)

Everywhere you look: cast-off snake skins.
          (Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR)
          (Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)
          (Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL)
          (Justin Cascio, Perth Amboy, NJ)

"HamStrz Rul!" is spray-painted all over the house.
          (Kathy Good, Phoenix, AZ)

The ASPCA was called to your house 4 times due to the noise and 
unruly behavior.
          (Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA)
          (Beth Baniszewski, Columbia, MD)

The greeting area by the doggie door has footprints of various 
sizes in a distinct circular pattern.
          (Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI)

When you peer into the fish tank, you can see a little disco 
ball hanging in the castle.
          (Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA)

When you stare him down to get at the truth, your cat blinks 
          (Kevin Paul Wickart, Normal, IL)

Who *else* would order a pizza with his own poo on it besides 
          (Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)

You find a note that simply says, "Human style was fun!  XXOO"
          (Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA)

Your turtle is moving *much* slower than usual and his shell
is on backwards.
          (Kevin Paul Wickart, Normal, IL)

Runner Up list name
          (Beth Baniszewski, Columbia, MD)
          (Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
          (Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA)

[      Copyright 2001 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting ""         ]