TOP5 PETS
Humor with a cold wet nose
Humor with a cold wet nose
Comments? Want join the kennel
of Top5 Pets writers?
E-mail The List Vet
TOP5 PETS HAS MOVED
Dreadful sorry about the intrusive Tripod ads. We have pulled up stakes and moved to an ad-free environment*.Join us in our new space by closing the panel on the left then clicking this link:
If the unwanted sidebar window on the left opens up along with it, you can get rid of the offending portion by clicking the "x" in its upper right-hand corner. Click on the actual window on the left, not on the explanatory graphic below.
* Ok, there are a few small ads at the bottom of the main page, BUT Top5 Pets directly benefits from them. We keep them unobtrusive.
==================================================================
TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
==================================================================
Filter? We don't need no steenking filter.
July 3, 2001
The Top 9 Most Questionable Money-Saving
Tips for the Home Aquarium
9> Recycle litterbox doots as "rocks" for the bottom.
8> BBs inserted in dead fishes' mouths will keep them from
floating to the top and give your tank that more populated look.
7> The perfect space-saving tank is achieved using *narrow* fish
and your old ant farm.
6> Carve your own treasure chest out of soap.
5> Don't buy Head and Shoulders *or* fish food! Two birds
with one stone, baby!
4> A good thick coating of Alaskan crude on the top of the water
will prevent evaporation.
3> A mouth-driven siphon tube to clean the tank is not only
cheaper than an under-gravel filter, but also provides a
nutrient-rich power beverage.
2> Silverfish are much cheaper than goldfish.
and the Number 1 Most Questionable
Money-Saving Tip for the Home Aquarium...
1> Sperm are basically like little fish, when you think
about it....
[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
=================================================================
Selected from 47 submissions from 17 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
------------------------------------------------------------------
Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 1, 5 (Attaboy! 1st #1)
Mike Wolf, Brookline, MA -- 2
Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI -- 3, Topic
Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 4
Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD -- 6
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- 7, RU list name
Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY -- 8
Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 9
Chuck Schultz, Eastaboga, AL -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- List Vet
==================================================================
Most Questionable Money-Saving Tips for the Home Aquarium
RUNNERS UP list -- Floaters
------------------------------------------------------------------
Aquarium gravel makes a dandy coffee filter, and the fish swim
faster afterwards.
(Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA)
Club soda instead of regular water keeps the tank clean, aerates
without those expensive motors and hoses, and gives the fish a
fun bit of bubbly, all at the same time!
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
For the fastest tank cleaning in town? Two words: SHOP VAC
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
(Justin Cascio, Perth Amboy, NJ)
Forget those fancy fish foods, most fish *love* table scraps.
(Doug Finney, Houston, TX)
(Brian E. Foster I, Fairfax, VA)
Leave a straw in the tank, make a house rule that every time anyone
passes by the tank they must blow bubbles for 1 minute.
(Adam Chunn, Houston, TX)
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
Save time and money, bleach the tank while the water and fish are
still in it!
(Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA)
(Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)
(James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)
Swordtails are the deadly assassins of the fish world. To
prevent loss, arm other fish with tiny switchblades.
(Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI)
That old Ford Pinto you have up on blocks in the front yard
will hold enough water to serve as a tasteful Koi display.
(Have a qualified mechanic remove the exploding gas tank
prior to indoor use, however.)
(Chuck Schultz, Eastaboga, AL)
They're probably going to die anyway so instead of buying
expensive exotics just float a few fish sticks in the tank.
(Doug Finney, Houston, TX)
Use a toaster to heat the water for those rare tropical fish.
(Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)
Use M&Ms instead of gravel. As they melt, they feed the fish.
(Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)
You don't need a fancy pump to keep the water bubbling. Simply
put the tank on the stove and keep at a steady boil.
(Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY)
Runner Up list name
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
==================================================================
[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White All rights reserved. ]
[ Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use ]
[ in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com" ]
==================================================================