TOP5 PETS

Humor with a cold wet nose

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Dreadful sorry about the intrusive Tripod ads. We have pulled up stakes and moved to an ad-free environment*.

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Top5 Pets is owned by
Chris White www.topfive.com


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                          July 30, 2001


            The Top 10 Pet Euphemisms for "Pet Owner"


10> The Great and Benevolent Provider of Life-Giving Flakes 
    from the World Above The Surface

 9> Mister Thinks-He-Owns-The-Place

 8> Visitor from Beyond the Cage

 7> Waste Disposal Unit #2

 6> Hunter of Delicious Cylindrical Animals in Hard Shells

 5> The Dupe

 4> Maitre d'

 3> Pitching Machine

 2> Poop Bitch


    and the Number 1 Pet Euphemism for "Pet Owner"...


  1> The Guy Who Always Points at Me After He Farts



              [   Copyright 2001 by Chris White    ]
              [       http://www.topfive.com       ]



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Selected from 33 submissions from 12 contributors.
Today's Top 5 Pets List authors are:
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Brian M. Klesc, Joliet, IL        -- 1, 7 (Attaboy! 1st #1)
Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA        -- 2
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX            -- 3
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- 4, RU List Name
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA     -- 5, 6
Brian E. Foster, Fairfax, VA      -- 7
Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA   -- 8
Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI     -- 9
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA    -- Topic, Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA        -- List Vet

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                  Pet Euphemisms for "Pet Owner"
    RUNNERS UP list  --  "Just don't call me late for dinner!"
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BedHog
          (Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)

High Priest/ess of the Oracle at Litterbox
          (Justin Cascio, Perth Amboy, NJ)

Holder of the Key That Unlocks the Mighty Power of the Bottomless
Tuna Cask and Keeper of the Ever-Flowing Aquatic Goblet
          (Brian M. Klesc, Joliet, IL)

Keeper of the Kibble
          (Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)

She Who Showers
          (Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)

She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed... (Yeah, right!  [*snort*])
          (Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)

Source of All Good Pettings
          (Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)

The Stuff Above the Two Sex Toys
          (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)

Upright Caretaker
          (Brian E. Foster, Fairfax, VA)

Vending Machine
          (Brian E. Foster, Fairfax, VA)

Winnow-the-Poo
          (Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD)


Runner Up list name
          (Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)




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[      Copyright 2001 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]
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