TOP5 PETS
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================================================================== TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS ================================================================== Cats ask for it by name! September 17, 2001 The Top 10 Must-Have Gadgets for Yuppie Pets 10> Shiatsu Butt-Scratcher: For those hard-to-reach areas, when your human isn't around. 9> Algae Salad Spinner 8> Automatic Testicle Licker (assuming, that is, you can get it away from the humans) 7> Scent-Marker GPS 6> Estrus Organizer: Track heat cycles of all the neighborhood females. 5> Master that refrigerator door with Grippo (TM) prosthetic replacement paws with opposable thumbs. 4> Rodent Poofer: Gives your gerbil a fashionable poodle-like hair style. 3> The Crapper: "Crap on, crap off..." 2> You've Got Pee-Mail: An electronic device hooked up the fence posts around the yard that sounds a subsonic dog alarm to let Fido know that another dog has whizzed on his fence. and the Number 1 Must-Have Gadget for Yuppie Pets ... 1> Feng Shui Yard Pile Chart: Poop in harmony with nature! [ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ] [ http://www.topfive.com ] ================================================================== Selected from 41 submissions from 15 contributors. Today's Top5 Pets List authors are: ------------------------------------------------------------------ James Knowles, Bellingham, WA -- 1, 4 (Attaboy! 2nd #1) Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA -- 2 Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD -- 3, 8 Adam Chunn, Houston, TX -- 5 Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY -- 6 Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 6 Kevin Paul Wickart, Normal, IL -- 7, 8 Laurie Northrup, Stray -- 9 Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA -- 10 Jake Tompkins, Aledo, TX -- 10 Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD -- Topic, Runner Up list name Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA -- Banner Tag Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- List Vet ================================================================== Must-Have Gadgets for Yuppie Pets RUNNERS UP list -- Nieman-Barfus ------------------------------------------------------------------ Bark-activated phone dialer for dogs with clumsy paws. (Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD) Doghouse theatre, complete with a collection of Lassie DVDs (including the uncut adult versions not fit for the puppies to see) (Patrick O'Driscoll, St Louis, MO) DVtweet: Why continually repeat the same inane song, when a fully digitized recording will handle it? (Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA) Fur Flowbee (Laurie Northrup, Stray) LBSS: Lassie's Butt Smell Spray (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX) Paw Pilot: Organizes your daily, doggie needs. Schedule enough time to chase the cat, bark at the mailman, *and* chew on everything valuable in the house! (Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA) (Laurie Northrup, Stray) (Chuck Schultz, Eastaboga, AL) PowerPaws: Velcro Paw Pads for dogs to help them adhere to the legs of your guests. (Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY) Redundant Cat Treats: Fish egg cat treats that taste like caviar. (Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA) Sharper Image Cat Motivator (looks very similar to a can of tuna and an electric opener.) (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA) Shoescoop: Automatically transfers catbox goodies into owner's shoes. (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX) Smell Phone: Check out other dogs' butts without leaving the house! (Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA) Why wag your own tail? Get fitted with a ButtWaggler (TM) solar-powered electrostatic rear-end twitcher. (Adam Chunn, Houston, TX) Runner Up list name (Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD) ================================================================== [ Copyright 2001 by Chris White All rights reserved. ] [ Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use ] [ in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com" ] ================================================================== |