TOP5 PETS
Humor with a cold wet nose
Humor with a cold wet nose
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TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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3 paws and a hook
November 26, 2001
The Top 10 Urban Legends Circulated by Pets
10> ... and when the brave little gerbil finally stopped running,
there--hanging from the wheel--was A HOOK!
9> Toyotas taste just like squirrel!
8> You can send your coughed-up hairballs to a charity that
releases the cats that would be sacrificed to make tennis
racquets in Third World countries.
7> After "Green Acres" went off the air, Arnold the Pig was
drafted and sent to Viet Nam, where he was killed. And eaten.
By his own troops.
6> If you don't spin around three times before laying down, the
boogeyman will bite your butt.
5> Morris the cat had his head cryogenically frozen!
4> All the animals rescued by PETA during the course of the year
are served as entrées at the annual banquet.
3> One day this dog opened up a can of "Mighty Dog" and found a
whole human head in it.
2> My cousin's neighbor's dog drank from a drugged bowl and woke
up in a bathtub full of ice, with a bandage on his crotch and
a sign on the mirror reading "Call your vet ..."
and the Number 1 Urban Legend Circulated by Pets...
1> If you pee on every fire hydrant in a 2 square block area,
Bill Gates will send you 50 Milkbones.
[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
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Selected from 41 submissions from 14 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
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Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 1 (4th #1)
Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA -- 2, 5, 6 (Purr-fecta!)
Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 2, 10
Kathy Good, Phoenix, AZ -- 3
Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD -- 4, RU List Name
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA -- 7
Justin Cascio, Perth Amboy, NJ -- 8
Dave Goudsward, Boynton Beach, FL -- 9
RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS -- Topic
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- List Vet
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Urban Legends Circulated by Pets
RUNNERS UP list -- Debunked
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... whenever he wore that red collar, mild-mannered Rags would
feel compelled to bite every salesman that came to the door. Rags
later discovered it had belonged to a dog that had been sent to
*THE CHAMBER* for mauling the Fuller Brush man!
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
A hamster couple returned from vacation to find their cage
burglarized and their camera stolen. Two weeks later they
received pictures of a wharf rat RUNNING ON THEIR WHEEL!!!!
(James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)
All non-meat products in pet food cause cancer.
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
Buck's owners took him for a ride to have something "fixed". When
he woke up three hours later he was in a weird plastic collar and
had a strange urge to read a Martha Stewart magazine.
(James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)
Elsa, the lion from "Born Free", was actually born a male with
no visible male genitalia. Sometimes filming had to be delayed
when Elsa would try to mate with other males.
(Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)
Fire hydrants are electrified; if you try to mark one, you'll
get your weenie roasted. But because of their longstanding
political alliance with firemen, Dalmatians are exempt.
(Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD)
Fish live in water. The waterbed is full of water. If you can
open the waterbed then you can eat the fish.
(Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia)
If you notice that the bathtub is full of ice, search the
house, 'cause there's good eatin' to be had. Have you ever
tasted kidney?
(Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD)
That stuff about cats having 9 lives? It was started by the guy
who runs topfive.com - we actually have 17 lives.
(Dave Goudsward, Boynton Beach, FL)
The noisy road monster with the glowing eyes won't see you if
you freeze in your tracks.
(Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia)
There was this cat that was subjected to secret military tests.
When he came back, he was warm, caring, and friendly!
(Dave Goudsward, Boynton Beach, FL)
This cat went to New Orleans for a cat convention and got really
drunk in the French Quarter. When he woke up the next morning he
was in a box of kitty litter, with a huge scar on his side. It
appeared that someone had surgically stolen 7 of his 9 lives.
(Kathy Good, Phoenix, AZ)
Runner Up list name
(Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD)
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[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White All rights reserved. ]
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[ in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com" ]
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