TOP5 PETS
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TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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Kills fleas dead
December 10, 2001
The Top 9 Items On Pet Resumes
9> Proactively leveraged kibble consumption to facilitate
enhanced yard pile deliverables
8> Interfaced with neighborhood females on seasonal basis
7> Masters Degree, Licking: Ball State University
6> Developed and implemented strategic alternative drinking
water supply re-purposing of lavatory commode facilities
5> Fluent in cat and dog; can read a little horse
4> Successfully protected entire workgroup from anthrax by
chasing off mailmen
3> Am willing to chase balls that are only pretend-thrown
2> Drug Sniffing Dog, 1997 - 1998
Rehab, 1999
Drug Sniffing Dog, 2000 - present
and the Number 1 Item On Pet Resumes...
1> Objective: Please master and/or finally capture tail
[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
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Selected from 38 submissions from 14 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 1 (Good boy! 1st #1)
Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA -- 2, 5
Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 3, 6
RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS -- 4
Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA -- 4
Susanne Turner, Louisville, KY -- 4
Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 7
Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY -- 8
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA -- 9, Topic
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- Runner Up list name
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- List Vet
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Items On Pet Resumes
RUNNERS UP list -- Downsized
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Can knock over garbage cans 10 times my size. (Chihuahuas only)
(Kathy Good, Phoenix, AZ)
Can type Shakespeare... given enough time. (Monkeys only)
(Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA)
Chairman, Shoe Disposal Committee
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
Community Activities: Deliver kibbles to the elderly with
Meals on Paws
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
Home Decorating Consultant, 1997-present: Personally responsible
for the removal of three ugly sofas
(Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA)
(Susanne Turner, Louisville, KY)
Led the team that gave Meow Mix its name
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
Made excellent grades after both sniffing and kissing the ass of
every one of my teachers
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
Masters Degree, Feline Zen Buddhism Meditation Theory
(Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)
My November layout had record newsstand sales...ooops, wrong
kind of pet!
(RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)
Progressed from entry-level Cycle 1 all the way to Cycle 4 in
under 7 years
(RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)
Responsible for keeping floor supplied with latest newspapers
(Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)
Successfully trained my humans to obey my every wish just by
staring at them
(Kathy Good, Phoenix, AZ)
Runner Up list name
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
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[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White All rights reserved. ]
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[ in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com" ]
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