Humor with a cold wet nose

Comments? Want join the kennel
of Top5 Pets writers?
E-mail The List Vet


Dreadful sorry about the intrusive Tripod ads. We have pulled up stakes and moved to an ad-free environment*.

Join us in our new space by closing the panel on the left then clicking this link:

If the unwanted sidebar window on the left opens up along with it, you can get rid of the offending portion by clicking the "x" in its upper right-hand corner. Click on the actual window on the left, not on the explanatory graphic below.

click on x to close Tripod window

* Ok, there are a few small ads at the bottom of the main page, BUT Top5 Pets directly benefits from them. We keep them unobtrusive.

Top5 Pets is owned by
Chris White

Top 50 Pet Sites
                         Kills fleas dead

                        December 10, 2001

                  The Top 9 Items On Pet Resumes

  9> Proactively leveraged kibble consumption to facilitate
     enhanced yard pile deliverables

  8> Interfaced with neighborhood females on seasonal basis

  7> Masters Degree, Licking: Ball State University

  6> Developed and implemented strategic alternative drinking
     water supply re-purposing of lavatory commode facilities

  5> Fluent in cat and dog; can read a little horse

  4> Successfully protected entire workgroup from anthrax by
     chasing off mailmen

  3> Am willing to chase balls that are only pretend-thrown

  2> Drug Sniffing Dog, 1997 - 1998
     Rehab, 1999
     Drug Sniffing Dog, 2000 - present

             and the Number 1 Item On Pet Resumes...

  1> Objective: Please master and/or finally capture tail

              [   Copyright 2001 by Chris White    ]
              [       ]

Selected from 38 submissions from 14 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA       -- 1 (Good boy! 1st #1)
Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA           -- 2, 5
Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA   -- 3, 6
RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS                -- 4
Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA         -- 4
Susanne Turner, Louisville, KY     -- 4
Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA    -- 7
Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY      -- 8
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA      -- 9, Topic
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA  -- Runner Up list name
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA     -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA         -- List Vet

                      Items On Pet Resumes
                  RUNNERS UP list  --  Downsized

Can knock over garbage cans 10 times my size. (Chihuahuas only)
           (Kathy Good, Phoenix, AZ)

Can type Shakespeare... given enough time. (Monkeys only)
           (Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA)

Chairman, Shoe Disposal Committee
           (Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)

Community Activities: Deliver kibbles to the elderly with
Meals on Paws
           (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

Home Decorating Consultant, 1997-present: Personally responsible
for the removal of three ugly sofas
           (Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA)
           (Susanne Turner, Louisville, KY)

Led the team that gave Meow Mix its name
           (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

Made excellent grades after both sniffing and kissing the ass of
every one of my teachers
           (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

Masters Degree, Feline Zen Buddhism Meditation Theory
           (Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)

My November layout had record newsstand sales...ooops, wrong
kind of pet!
           (RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)

Progressed from entry-level Cycle 1 all the way to Cycle 4 in
under 7 years
           (RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)

Responsible for keeping floor supplied with latest newspapers
           (Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)

Successfully trained my humans to obey my every wish just by
staring at them
           (Kathy Good, Phoenix, AZ)

Runner Up list name
           (Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)

[      Copyright 2001 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting ""         ]