Humor with a cold wet nose

Comments? Want join the kennel
of Top5 Pets writers?
E-mail The List Vet


Dreadful sorry about the intrusive Tripod ads. We have pulled up stakes and moved to an ad-free environment*.

Join us in our new space by closing the panel on the left then clicking this link:

If the unwanted sidebar window on the left opens up along with it, you can get rid of the offending portion by clicking the "x" in its upper right-hand corner. Click on the actual window on the left, not on the explanatory graphic below.

click on x to close Tripod window

* Ok, there are a few small ads at the bottom of the main page, BUT Top5 Pets directly benefits from them. We keep them unobtrusive.

Top5 Pets is owned by
Chris White

Top 50 Pet Sites
                           R.I.P. Buddy

                         January 14, 2002

              The Top 10 Passages from the Pet Bible

10> "Blessed are the pee-makers: they shall mark the Earth for
     their possession"

 9> "As ye chew, so shall ye rip."

 8> "And in her 414th dog year, Snowball begat Fluffy, Duke and
     Bowser. The descendants of Bowser were Skippy, Spot, and

 7> "What shall it profit a dog should he gain the whole world
     yet lose his own bowl?"

 6> "Bind thy Owner's name and phone number as a sign upon thy
     Collar, and inscribe thy scent upon the doorposts of thine
     house and on thy gates."

 5> "Thou shalt covet thy master's dinner."

 4> "Whine, and you shall receive; scratch, and the door shall
     be opened."

 3> "In the beginning was the word, and the word was 'who wants
     to go walkies?'"

 2> "Give a man a fish and he will have to buy an aquarium."

         and the Number 1 Passage from the Pet Bible...

 1> "Moses said 'let my people go' and Pharaoh's heart was
     softened, but no law could be made for his signet ring
     had been hidden by the plague of ferrets."

             [   Copyright 2002 by Chris White    ]
             [       ]

Selected from 42 submissions from 15 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS                  -- 1 (Good boy! 1st #1)
Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA             -- 2, 8
Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY        -- 3
Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA     -- 4, 7, 9 (Purr-fecta!)
Mike Wolf, Brookline, MA             -- 5
Justin Cascio, Perth Amboy, NJ       -- 6, 8
Susanne Turner, Louisville, KY       -- 10
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA       -- Topic, Runner Up list name
Charles Schnabel, Shaker Heights, OH -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA           -- List Vet

                  Passages from the Pet Bible
            RUNNERS UP list  --  Book of Neuteronomy

"... and Lot's wife was turned into a pillar of hairballs."
          (Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL)

"And He saw that He was a 'Good Boy! Who's a GOOD BOY? YES
          (Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)

"And on the eighth day, God created fire hydrants. And it
was good."
          (Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL)

"And on the seventh day, He turned around and around until
He findeth a good spot, and then He settled in for a nap."
          (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

"And the Lord spake: 'Mad dog. God dam. Spooky, huh?'"
          (Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)

"And then there came another horseman, saying 'no table scraps,
and only dry food to eat,' and pestilence was his name."
          (RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)

"God blessed them and said 'Be fruitful and multiply.' And then
He spake no further word, for St. Peter Cottontail was already
at work obeying God's command."
          (Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)

"Honor thy father and mother by sleeping on their faces."
          (Mike Wolf, Brookline, MA)

"In the beginning was the ball, and the ball was with the hand,
and the ball was in the hand, and then the ball was thrown."
          (RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)

"In the first hour God created the world. And in it He put the
toilet bowl and the tennis ball and wonderful smells. And for the
rest of the day he slept by the fire. And it was good."
          (Adam Chunn, Houston, TX)

"Oh ye of little faith; he can hold it until the caravan reaches
          (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

"The Lord is my German Shepard, I shall not whine. He maketh me
to sit and stay in green pastures..."
          (Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)

"Thou shalt have no other Dogs before me."
          (Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA)

"Thou shalt not drag thine ass across the carpet."
          (Keith Slicner, South Plainfield, NJ)

"Verily, it matters not HOW cute that Manx down the street is,
'Begetting' is RIGHT OUT!"
          (Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)

Runner Up list name
          (Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)

[                  TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS                   ]
[            "Top 10" lists on a variety of subjects             ]
[                                ]
[      Copyright 2002 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting ""         ]