Humor with a cold wet nose

Comments? Want join the kennel
of Top5 Pets writers?
E-mail The List Vet


Dreadful sorry about the intrusive Tripod ads. We have pulled up stakes and moved to an ad-free environment*.

Join us in our new space by closing the panel on the left then clicking this link:

If the unwanted sidebar window on the left opens up along with it, you can get rid of the offending portion by clicking the "x" in its upper right-hand corner. Click on the actual window on the left, not on the explanatory graphic below.

click on x to close Tripod window

* Ok, there are a few small ads at the bottom of the main page, BUT Top5 Pets directly benefits from them. We keep them unobtrusive.

Top5 Pets is owned by
Chris White

Top 50 Pet Sites
                      Must be the puppy chow

                         January 21, 2002

                The Top 9 Euphemisms for "Pets"

 9> Abstract Carpet Artist

 8> Little Mark Cuban (incessantly barking dogs only)

 7> Godzilla Bait

 6> Furry Alarm Clock

 5> The 8" silver Yamaha four-valve student model...oh wait, 
    that's a EUPHONIUM for pets!

 4> Lap Junkie

 3> New-House-Smell Eradicator

 2> Avian-American

            and the Number 1 Euphemism for "Pet"...

 1> Hair Distribution Technician

             [   Copyright 2002 by Chris White    ]
             [       ]

Selected from 36 submissions from 16 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA     -- 1, 4 (3rd #1)
Adam Chunn, Houston, TX           -- 2
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA      -- 3
RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS               -- 5, 8
Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY     -- 6
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- 7, Runner Up list name
Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI     -- 9
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA    -- Topic
Charles Schnabel, Shaker Hts, OH  -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA        -- List Vet

                      Euphemisms for "Pets"
                 RUNNERS UP list  --  Misnomers

Differently Pedaled Citizens
          (Justin Cascio, Perth Amboy, NJ)
          (Dave Goudsward, Boynton Beach, FL)

Hairball Processing And Expulsion Units
          (Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI)

Mister "Guard The House By Making A Moat When The
Doorbell Rings"
          (Mike Wolf, Brookline, MA)

Multi-legged Nonhuman Companion
          (Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)

My Fuzzy Little Nocturnal Foot Warmer
          (Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)

Non-Deductible Meat Eater
          (Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)

Person of Fur
          (Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)

The Behaving Child
          (RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)

The Lint Removal Industry's Best Friend
          (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

The Under-Table Cleaning Service
          (Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)

Thief Slayer (unless the thief has dog biscuits or
a tennis ball)
          (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)

Runner Up list name
          (Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)

[      Copyright 2002 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting ""         ]