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                           Nyet, Ya koshka


                           March 25, 2002

                      NOTE FROM THE LIST VET:

Seems like everyone and their auntie is keeping a blog these days.
   For the two or three of you who might not be familiar with the
concept, a blog is an online journal -- or "web log," shortened to
   "blog" -- with content ranging from the mundane to the sublime.

 From time to time we'll be dipping into blogs kept by various pets.

                            First up...


             The Top 9 Excerpts from a Parakeet's Blog


  9> "I am molting. My reflection mockingly reveals the unfiltered
     bleakness of my existence. Sartre was right all along. Worse,
     the unrelenting attempts of the wingless giant to coax mimicked
     speech from the darkness of my soul are... Oboy! Fresh seed!"

  8> "Breakfast: skipped it. Lunch: a few pecks at the seed bell.
     Dinner: pin feathers from my tail."

  7> "I don't think I mentioned lately how much I love my
     cuttlebone. What do they make these things out of, anyway?
     I hope it's not something gross."

  6> "As I'm typing this blog entry, I've received three instant
     messages asking for my age, sex, and wingspan."

  5> "Owners forgot to remove the blanket today, so I took the
     opportunity to develop my vacation slides."

  4> "Through perseverance and unobtrusive wing signals, I have at
     last enlisted the aid of the dog. Tonight I escape this damned
     cage and then, VENGEANCE!!!"

  3> "The other bird mocks me still. I shift to the side, he shifts
     to the side. I bob my head, he bobs. Why won't he talk?"

  2> "Man, this would sure be easier if I could touch-type instead
     of hunt-and-peck."


    and the Number 1 Excerpt from a Parakeet's Blog...


  1> "As I stare endlessly through the gilded bars of my physical
     confines, the only thought that passes through the void of my
     existence is 'Damn the crackers! Damn those tasty crackers!'"



              [   Copyright 2002 by Chris White    ]
              [       http://www.topfive.com       ]


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Selected from 33 submissions from 13 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
------------------------------------------------------------------
Adam Chunn, Houston, TX          -- 1 (3rd #1)
Kevin Paul Wickart, Normal, IL   -- 2, 4, 9 (Purr-fecta!)
Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI    -- 3, 7
Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 5, 8
Justin Cascio, Perth Amboy, NJ   -- 6
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA   -- Topic
Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD   -- Runner Up list name
Andrea Balboa, Stray             -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA       -- List Vet

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                  Excerpts from a Parakeet's Blog
                  RUNNERS UP list  --  Cage Liners
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"How's a bird supposed to keep up with his stock portfolio if he
keeps getting his cage lined with the 'Entertainment' section?"
           (Adam Chunn, Houston, TX)

"It was a really interesting article, but at the end it said
'Continued on page F2.' What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
           (Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD)

"I've been working on a new song; I think it may be my best ever."
           (RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)

"Must 'e' Yellowboy to discuss the latest Bushism in today's
cageliner."
           (Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)

"So the vet says I'm going to have to stop twisting my neck like
that just to get to the end of every feather."
           (Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)

"The cutest bird just looked at me through my window ... wait,
that's the mirror again."
           (Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA)
           (Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)

"There's a fresh New York Times at the bottom of the cage, and
I'm quietly confident I'll be pooping on a lucrative career in
timeshare rentals later today."
           (Justin Cascio, Perth Amboy, NJ)

"What's the deal with all those foreign birds taking away all the
good American perches?"
           (Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL)


Runner Up list name
           (Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD)


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[      Copyright 2002 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
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