TOP5 PETS
Humor with a cold wet nose
Humor with a cold wet nose
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TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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Do not place your pet on the counter.
The receptionist bites.
April 1, 2002
NOTE FROM THE LIST VET:
The List Vet has deep respect for service and guide animals yet
as a cat person she has often wondered why the good samaritan
jobs always seem to be taken by dogs. So she asked the Top5 Pets
contributors to explain it to her. Did they ever set her straight!
The Top 8 Reasons Cats Aren't Used as
Guide Animals for the Blind
8> The fire department has better things to do than constantly
rescuing the two of you from treetops, all tangled up in the
leash and surrounded by barking dogs.
7> Too high a risk of becoming disoriented while Snowball chases
her own tail.
6> First bird they spot and you're a wet stain on the 3rd Avenue
bus lane.
5> Involuntary 2-mile sprints after every dog encounter.
4> They weave in and out of your ankles a few times and next thing
you know you're being treated for a broken jaw.
3> Sunny spot in the middle of the road? Nap time!
2> Too many injuries caused by slipping on hairballs.
and the Number 1 Reason Cats Aren't Used
as Guide Animals for the Blind...
1> That daily jump to the top of the refrigerator is a killer.
[ Copyright 2002 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
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Selected from 28 submissions from 11 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- 1, 8 (2nd #1)
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 2
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA -- 3, 8, Topic
Virgil Steigerwald, Cleveland, OH -- 4, Runner Up list name
Kathy Good, Scottsdale, AZ -- 4
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL -- 5
Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 6
Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY -- 7
Arlington Animal Hospital, Arlington, VA -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- List Vet
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Reasons Cats Aren't Used as Guide Animals for the Blind
RUNNERS UP list -- Out of Service
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Cats obey traffic signals with the same slavish devotion they give
their owners.
(Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA)
"Dammit, Fluffy! I said I wanted to go to the library, not the
fish market!"
(Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)
One cloudburst and you're stuck at home for days.
(Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA)
The cat would be too busy playing with the leash to take you
anywhere.
(Kate Melnyk, Dedham, MA)
The naps in the sun are nice, but the mad dashes in between are
murder.
(Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA)
They move too slowly when they scoot their butts across busy
intersections.
(Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)
Runner Up list name
(Virgil Steigerwald, Cleveland, OH)
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[ Copyright 2002 by Chris White All rights reserved. ]
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[ in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com" ]
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