TOP5 PETS
Humor with a cold wet nose
Comments? Want join the kennel
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================================================================== TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS ================================================================== Do not administer to kittens less than 8 weeks of age April 29, 2002 The Top 9 Pet Personal Ads 9> FRISKY PUP seeks some tail. Tired of going in circles. Let's catch up some time -- you can lead the way. 8> ME: from a large family, survivor of attempted infanticide. Hobbies include nesting and running the wheel. ISO human, gender unimportant, for Habitrail construction and nocturnal entertainment. No snake owners, please. 7> SLEEK, SLIM-HIPPED, and speedy: this sun-worshipping gal WLTM her match... Blue bellied guys a plus, fatties and skanky Skinks need not apply. BYOF! (Bring your own flies.) 6> PLAYMATES SOUGHT: Open-minded pair (Labrador, M, and Siamese, F) seek fellow adventurers into unexplored realms of frisky fun. We like toys, trips in the car, and snuggle fests underneath old blankets. Mixed couples, only, please. 5> SOMETHING FISHY'S going on. Meet me at the castle for a clothing-optional moonlight swim. Ready to break out of my glass house and meet a bubbly new personality. 4> SHARE YOUR PAIN: Recently neutered Cocker Spaniel looking to form support group for grief therapy, mutual counseling, maybe just a good cry. No weirdoes, NO CATS! 3> SF LOOKING for weak-willed and easily manipulated human to do bidding. Must enjoy digging for buried treasure. Expensive yet delicate furniture a plus. 2> I LIKE TO WATCH: Last Wednesday, in the living room. Me: Goldylocks hanging out by the castle. You: Brunette sunning yourself on the rug. You gratified yourself with a tongue bath that made me want to jump into a cold shower! Let's make it a regular date. and the Number 1 Pet Personal Ad... 1> HEY THERE, LADIES. Looking for a man who is both handsome and *ahem* long? Come lie in the sun with me, we'll laze there for hours, and I'll wrap myself around you and hold you tight. Don't expect a BBQ though -- I like my meat alive and kicking. [ Copyright 2002 by Chris White ] [ http://www.topfive.com ] ================================================================== Selected from 20 submissions from 12 contributors. Today's Top5 Pets List authors are: ------------------------------------------------------------------ Seth Brown, Williamstown, MA -- 1 (Attaboy! 1st #1) Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 2, 4, 6 (Purr-fecta!) Adam Chunn, Houston, TX -- 3 Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL -- 5, 9 Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- 7, Topic Justin Cascio, Perth Amboy, NJ -- 8 Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY -- Topic Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA -- Runner Up list name Virgil Steigerwald, Cleveland, OH -- Banner Tag Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- List Vet ================================================================== Pet Personal Ads RUNNERS UP list -- ISO Humor ------------------------------------------------------------------ MALE, 21 (in my years), golden hair, retrieving personality, fetching looks, I don't mind being faked out, I'm a real catch. Lets have a ball!!! (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA) ME: GRACEFUL (so how come I'm always knocking things over?), sleek (if I eat fish one more time I'll grown fins!) quiet (but I have my ways of making my wishes known). You: Willing to spoil me rotten with plenty of attention (I may not respond) and treats. (Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY) QUEEN seeks adulant worshippers. I am an Egyptian princess with short hair, and sit around looking pretty with no clothes on. In return, you will tend to my every desire, bring me food, empty my chamber pot, and stroke and caress my body. (Seth Brown, Williamstown, MA) SINGLE FEMALE of mixed birth, I seek single or married male for long-term relationship, heavy petting and some licking. No neuters, please. (Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA) SINGLE FURRY FELINE: treat me like a god and I might acknowledge your existence, but don't bet on it. (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA) Runner Up list name (Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA) ================================================================== [ Copyright 2002 by Chris White All rights reserved. ] [ Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use ] [ in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com" ] ================================================================== |