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TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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Contains humor and humor by-products
August 12, 2002
The Top 9 Additives You Didn't Realize Were in Your Pet's Food
9> Eye saddeners
8> Finicky Encouragement Additive, not to be confused with plain
ol' lousy-tasting food
7> Your first pet
6> Minoxidil; now you know why the groomer has raised her rates
5> Munchie-inducing catnip
4> "Wet dog smell" hormone
3> The ground-up remains of a little chuck wagon and four
tiny horses
2> Mailman au Jus
and the Number 1 Additive You Didn't Realize
Was in Your Pet's Food...
1> Homework digestion enzymes
[ Copyright 2002 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
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Selected from 23 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 1, 9 (5th #1)
Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 2
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA -- 3
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 4, 8
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL -- 5
Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY -- 6
Seth Brown, Williamstown, MA -- 7
Justin Cascio, Perth Amboy, NJ -- Topic
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA -- Runner Up list name
Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- List Vet
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Additives You Didn't Realize Were in Your Pet's Food
RUNNERS UP list -- Canned
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Anuses from dogs all over the world
(Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)
Aphrodisiac-hallucinogenic combination that makes your leg appear
to be a female in heat
(RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)
Drool aroma enhancement
(Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA)
Hamphetamines, to promote manic exercise-wheel activity
(Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI)
Imported Russian Caviar. Well, it's in *my* cats' food, at their
sharp-clawed insistence.
(Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)
Scorn-inducing hormone, naturally found only in France
(RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)
Runner Up list name
(Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)
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