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                      I barf, therefore I am.

                         August 19, 2002

        The Top 9 Signs You're Being Stalked by a Groomer

9> Handwritten offer to cut your hair is accompanied by a towel
    for you to roll up in.

8> A ribbon-wrapped packet of matted hair is laid at your doorstep
    every day.

7> The only place you're safe is at the airport: those scissors
    detain him in security every time.

6> That annoying high pitched buzzing sound around your head at
    night isn't mosquitoes, it's clippers.

5> The bushes outside your bedroom window all have that poofy
    poodle look.

4> Sudden activity on your offering of personal hair clippings on

3> You wake up with no memory of last night, your toenails have
    been painted black, and you have a perky little bow holding up
    your bangs.

2> Mails you collages of your head superimposed on all the photos
    in Cat Fancy.

      and the Number 1 Sign You're Being Stalked by a Groomer...

1> Repeated phone calls with nothing but heavy snipping.

             [   Copyright 2002 by Chris White    ]
             [       ]

Selected from 19 submissions from 7 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL           -- 1 (6th #1)
Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI       -- 2
Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI -- 3
Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA    -- 4, 9
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA       -- 5
Stephen Dudzik, Olney, MD           -- 6, 8
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA   -- 7
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA      -- Topic
Adam Chunn, Houston, TX             -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA          -- List Vet

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