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TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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Purr and the world purrs with you.
Hit the litterbox and you're on your own.
August 26, 2002
The Top 9 Differences If Shakespeare Had Been a Dog
9> "All the world's a fire hydrant."
8> Hamlet's great soliloquy pauses at "Aye, there's the rub" for 20
seconds of hind leg vibration.
7> Fewer soliloquies, more leg humping.
6> "Henry V" would never progress past the scene with the trunk
full of tennis balls.
5> "The first thing we do, let's kill all the dogcatchers!"
4> "Alas, poor Yorick, I... HEY! Come back with that!"
3> Marc Antony may have come to bury Caesar, but you can bet
somebody is going to dig him right back up.
2> "The Taming of the Shrew" now involves a choke collar and
rolled up newspaper.
and the Number 1 Difference if Shakespeare Had Been a Dog...
1> "Something is rotten in the state of Denmark. Let's roll in it!"
[ Copyright 2002 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
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Selected from 32 submissions from 11 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI -- 1, 5, 8 (Purr-fecta! 2nd #1)
Dave Goudsward, Boynton Beach, FL -- 2, 4, Banner Tag
RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS -- 3
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA -- 4, 7, Topic
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 4, 8
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA -- 6
Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD -- 9
Pretty much everybody -- Runner Up list name
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- List Vet
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Differences If Shakespeare Had Been a Dog
RUNNERS UP list -- Out, damned Spot!
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"Hounds, Romans, Countrymen, perk up your ears! I come to sniff
Caesar, not to praise him."
(Jim Goldman, Horsham, PA)
"To pee or not to pee, that is the question."
(Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR)
(Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)
Hamlet: [Circles bed three times] "To sleep, perchance to dream."
(Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD)
Rather than drawing swords on their enemies, characters would merely
lift their legs.
(Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR)
Romeo and Juliet are doing it doggy style on the balcony when a
serving girl, trying to break them up with a broom, accidentally
knocks them over the edge, where they tragically fall to their
deaths.
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
You want annoying? Try having to bark in iambic pentameter.
(Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)
Runner Up list name
(Pretty much everybody)
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