TOP5 PETS

Humor with a cold wet nose

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Dreadful sorry about the intrusive Tripod ads. We have pulled up stakes and moved to an ad-free environment*.

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Chris White www.topfive.com


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               It's good for the carpet, honest.


                        November 18, 2002


             The Top 9 Post-Neutering Greeting Cards


9> Roses are red,
   Violets are blue.
   Guess who's fertile?
   Sure isn't you!

8> I'm awful at poems,
   That stuff's for the bards.
   But won't you forgive me
   For yanking your nards?

7> The doc went snip snip.
   I'm not happy, dagnabbit.
   What the hell d'you expect?
   I'm a freakin' male rabbit!

6> Just a couple of snips
   Then one or two stitches.
   Find a new hobby --
   You're through with the bitches.

5> You just might feel like howling
   Since you know your sex life's gone.
   But cheer up, you won't need toweling
   From those hosings on the lawn.

4> You sit and you stay,
   You lay down and beg,
   But the trick that grew old
   Was the one with my leg.

3> I happily deliver this card to you knowing that you no longer
   need to hump my leg.
   Best Regards, Your Mailman

2> "Vasectomy," we humans say
   When gonads get the blade.
   But puppy, now you've had your day:
   Let's call a spayed a spayed.


         and the Number 1 Post-Neutering Greeting Card...


1> We're sorry we snipped you,
   We know that you're bitter.
   But we really meant it
   When we said, "Don't litter."



             [   Copyright 2002 by Chris White    ]
             [       http://www.topfive.com       ]


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Selected from 28 submissions from 11 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
------------------------------------------------------------------
Seth Brown, Williamstown, MA     -- 1, 3 (4th #1)
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA     -- 2, 5
Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI    -- 4, 8
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA   -- 6, 9, Topic
Kathy Good, Scottsdale, AZ       -- 7
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA    -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA       -- List Vet

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[      Copyright 2002 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
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[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]
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