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Top5 Pets is owned by
Chris White

Top 50 Pet Sites
                 Not just another pretty package.

                        November 25, 2002

           The Top 9 Differences if the Music Industry
                         Were Run by Pets

9> Out: Boy bands
   In: Good-Boy Bands

8> Before signing up a new band, a record exec must mark them as
   his territory.

7> MTV only shows home videos of dogs playing the piano.

6> Meow Mix commercial song released in a club remix.

5> Grammy statuettes make a cool squeaky noise when you chew
   on them.

4> LPs would still be in vogue. Not to listen to, but because you
   can tape a catnip mouse to one and chase it for hours.

3> Payola scandals involve large amounts of catnip and belly rubs.

2> Fans of parrot musicians would attend concerts with little
   Jimmy Buffett dolls on their shoulders.

        and the Number 1 Difference if the Music Industry
                       Were Run by Pets...

1> When artists throw guitar picks into the crowd, audience
   members are expected to bring them back.

             [   Copyright 2002 by Chris White    ]
             [       ]

Selected from 36 submissions from 13 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS               -- 1, 3 (2nd #1)
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA     -- 2
Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL    -- 3
Seth Brown, Williamstown, MA      -- 4
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA    -- 5, 9, Topic
Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY     -- 6
Stephanie Thompson, Brainerd, MN -- 7
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX            -- 8
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- Topic, Runner Up list name
Virgil Steigerwald, Cleveland, OH -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA        -- List Vet

        Differences if the Music Industry Were Run by Pets
                   RUNNERS UP list -- B Sides

"Who Let the Dogs Out" tops every greatest hits list.
          (Dave Ferry, Purvis, MS)

Bands have access to unlimited supply of primo catnip.
          (Stephanie Thompson, Brainerd, MN)
          (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

CDs would have tiny ridges molded into them so they would fly
better and be easier to fetch.
          (Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI)

Hip Hop would be performed by mostly white artists with large
floppy ears.
          (Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)

Instruments strung with catgut? Outlawed.
          (Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)

Mariah Carey replaced by actual screeching cat.
          (RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)

Royalties paid in Milk Bones and Beggin' Strips.
          (Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)

The phrase "I'll smack yo bitch" is no longer considered a
gross pejorative.
          (Stephen Dudzik, Olney, MD)

Toilet bowls replace bottles of Cristal and Perrier in Snoop
Dogg's trailer.
          (Stephen Dudzik, Olney, MD)

Runner Up list name
          (Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)

[      Copyright 2002 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
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