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Chris White

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                 Now, with 26% fewer carcinogens!

                         January 6, 2003

             The Top 9 New Year's Resolutions of Pets

 9> Less scratching, more sniffing.

 8> Admit my addiction to begging for table scraps, and kick it
    cold turkey. Mmmmm, turkey!

 7> When waking my owner, I promise not to step on her hair.
    Unless she doesn't get up right away.

 6> Fighting fish: Move to a larger living space like a mason jar 
    or something.

 5> I do hereby resolve to overcome my feline indifference, show
    more appreciation, be less picky. Or sleep 23 hours a day,
    whichever is easiest.

 4> Parakeets are not snacks. Parakeets are not snacks. Parakeets
    are not snacks. Oh, look -- a parakeet!

 3> Parrot: Shake my cracker addiction once and for all.

 2> Finally land a poop right between Heloise's eyes.

        and the Number 1 New Year's Resolution of Pets...

 1> This is the year I will catch my tail.

             [   Copyright 2003 by Chris White    ]
             [       ]

Selected from 25 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
Paul Paternoster, Los Altos, CA   -- 1, 9 (3rd #1)
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA      -- 2, 8
Adam Chunn, Houston, TX           -- 3, 6
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX            -- 4
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA     -- 5, Topic
Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY     -- 7
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA        -- List Vet

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