TOP5 PETS
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TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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Got Milk Bone?
January 13, 2003
NOTE FROM THE LIST VET:
A Norwegian woman whose dog died giving birth
breastfed the surviving puppies along with her
infant son. We're not woofin'!
The Top 9 Consequences of Breastfeeding Puppies
9> Your husband refers to foreplay as "finding the chew toys."
8> Your breasts start leaking during dog food commercials.
7> Once mature, your dog can make big bucks teaching guys how to
undo bras with their tongues.
6> Every Mother's Day you receive six or seven heart-shaped boxes
of Milk Bones.
5> You develop a deep hatred of the mail carrier.
4> Two words: whisker burn.
3> Your husband is no longer sure which part of your body to
massage after a complaint of "My dogs are barking."
2> Michael Jackson starts hitting you up for parenting advice.
and the Number 1 Consequence of Breastfeeding Puppies...
1> Some *very* odd looks in church.
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
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Selected from 41 submissions from 14 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 1, 5 (8th #1)
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH -- 2, 3
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA -- 2, Topic
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 4, 9
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 6
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA -- 7, Banner Tag
Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY -- 8
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 8
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- Runner Up list name
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- List Vet
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Consequences of Breastfeeding Puppies
RUNNERS UP list -- Milked Dry
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Every time you see a toilet you get thirsty.
(Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)
Five puppies fighting over two boobs.
(Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY)
No expensive piercings needed for those extra nipple rings!
(Gideon Griebenow, Potchefstroom SA)
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
Pups are constantly razzed about their Mom's having only two
teats.
(Stephen Dudzik, Olney, MD)
The neighbors' dogs no longer sniff your *crotch*.
(Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI)
You took your shirt off, but there's still a whole lot of confused
pro wrestling fans who want to see your puppies.
(Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH)
Your next child doesn't open her eyes for eight weeks.
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
Runner Up list name
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
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