TOP5 PETS

Humor with a cold wet nose

Comments? Want join the kennel
of Top5 Pets writers?
E-mail The List Vet

TOP5 PETS HAS MOVED

Dreadful sorry about the intrusive Tripod ads. We have pulled up stakes and moved to an ad-free environment*.

Join us in our new space by closing the panel on the left then clicking this link:

http://coldwetnose.ws

If the unwanted sidebar window on the left opens up along with it, you can get rid of the offending portion by clicking the "x" in its upper right-hand corner. Click on the actual window on the left, not on the explanatory graphic below.

click on x to close Tripod window

 
* Ok, there are a few small ads at the bottom of the main page, BUT Top5 Pets directly benefits from them. We keep them unobtrusive.

Top5 Pets is owned by
Chris White www.topfive.com

Top 50 Pet Sites 
==================================================================
              TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
==================================================================


            Better looking than that freakin' poodle.


                        February 10, 2003

                     NOTE FROM THE LIST VET:

      Even if you live under a rock you've probably heard of
   "American Idol," a TV phenomenon wherein pop star wannabes
    strut their stuff before a panel of hard-to-impress judges.
Sounds a lot like the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show -- only
                maybe with slightly less drooling.


       The Top 9 Differences if the Westminster Kennel Club
               Dog Show Were Run Like American Idol


9> Given an hour to put together a song-and-dance routine,
    contestants spend the entire time sniffing each others'
    butts.

8> No pups over 24 months allowed!

7> Poodle hairdos are only slightly poufier than the average
    human contestant's.

6> Paula Abdul scoffs: "You call that dancing? It's as if you 
    have two left feet!"

5> Simon's latest zinger: "I just want to know: Where is your 
    dog, and why are you walking your compost heap?"

4> Since wearing fur coats is politically incorrect, all
    contestants must be shaved.

3> Cacophonous howling, incessant whining, outrageous haircuts.
    What do you mean "if"?

2> Despite the insightful appraisals of the judges, the phone-in
    voters always pick the Scooby-Doo look-alikes.


    and the Number 1 Difference if the Westminster Kennel Club
             Dog Show Were Run Like American Idol...


1> PETA would be all over Simon's ass for cruelty to animals.



             [   Copyright 2003 by Chris White    ]
             [       http://www.topfive.com       ]


==================================================================
Selected from 35 submissions from 13 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
------------------------------------------------------------------
Stephanie Thompson, Brainerd, MN -- 1 (Best in Show! 1st #1)
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA      -- 2, 5
RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS               -- 3
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA     -- 4
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA    -- 6, 9, Topic
Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI     -- 7
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- 8
Virgil Steigerwald, Cleveland, OH -- Runner Up list name
Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD    -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA        -- List Vet

==================================================================
       Differences if the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show
                   Were Run Like American Idol
               RUNNERS UP list -- Torn to Ribbons
------------------------------------------------------------------

Every dog would have spiked, dyed-blond hair. No wait, that would 
be if it were run by *Billy* Idol.
          (RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)

How in the hell is a Basenji ever going to make it to the top when
it can't even bark?
          (Kathy Good, Scottsdale, AZ)

It just wouldn't work. You worship idols and this is a dog show, 
not a cat show.
          (RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)

Simon tells one of the handlers that if her dog wins it will
probably be the end of that particular breed.
          (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

When contestants whine about losing, it's because that's the only
way they know how to communicate, whereas in the *dog show*....
          (Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH)


Runner Up list name
          (Virgil Steigerwald, Cleveland, OH)

==================================================================
[                  TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS                   ]
[            "Top 10" lists on a variety of subjects             ]
[                     http://www.topfive.com                     ]
==================================================================
[      Copyright 2003 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]
==================================================================