TOP5 PETS
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================================================================== TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS ================================================================== Riots in the streets, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria! March 31, 2003 NOTE FROM THE LIST VET: Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge has reportedly assembled an emergency kit for his dogs Molly, Allie and Gus for use in the event of a biological or chemical attack. The Top 10 Items in Your Pet's Red Alert Stash 10> Goldfish: Teeny-tiny roll of duct tape and plastic sheeting for the castle windows. 9> Ferret: Several days' supply of keys to hide under furniture. 8> Persian cat: Nail clippers, wire brush, round brush, hair dryer, conditioner, loofah, hair bows, exfoliator, magazine. 7> Dog: Several gallons bottled toilet water. From a real toilet. 6> Parrot: "Polly wanna hazmat suit!" 5> Pit bull: Several pounds of freeze-dried mailman plus a few extra fingers for snacking. 4> Cat: A gas attack sentry canary. A big, fat, juicy sentry canary. 3> Black Lab: This big bag of biscuits, minus a few for immediate scarfing, and a few more, and a few more, um... this big empty plastic bag for emergency toy storage. 2> Parakeet: Ample supply of shatterproof mirrors. and the Number 1 Item in Your Pet's Red Alert Stash... 1> Pot Bellied Pig: Large sign proclaiming "I'm Not Edible." [ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ] [ http://www.topfive.com ] ================================================================== Selected from 38 submissions from 14 contributors. Today's Top5 Pets List authors are: ------------------------------------------------------------------ James Knowles, Bellingham, WA -- 1, 3 (12th #1) Stephen Dudzik, Olney, MD -- 2, 4 Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI -- 5, 8 Gideon Griebenow, Potchefstroom SA -- 5 Brad Wilkerson, El Sobrante, CA -- 6 Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA -- 7, 10 RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS -- 9 Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI -- Topic Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- Runner Up list name Virgil Steigerwald, Cleveland, OH -- Banner Tag Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- List Vet ================================================================== Items in Your Pet's Red Alert Stash RUNNERS UP list -- Bombs ------------------------------------------------------------------ Cat: Not my problem, let the bipedal house slaves handle it. (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA) (Barb McMahon, Ann Arbor, MI) Cat: Sealed room, food, water, bedding, catnip, toys, and keep those damn people out of here! (Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD) Cat: Your goldfish and jar of tartar sauce. (Brad Wilkerson, El Sobrante, CA) Dog: Cat poop, for snackies. (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX) Gerbil: Have some babies so there will be plenty to eat in case of a crisis. (Adam Chunn, Houston, TX) Labrador: A case of tennis balls, and a dead duck. Seriously, do you know how hard it will be to come by dead ducks? (Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI) Runner Up list name (Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA) ================================================================== [ TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS ] [ "Top 10" lists on a variety of subjects ] [ http://www.topfive.com ] ================================================================== [ Copyright 2003 by Chris White All rights reserved. ] [ Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use ] [ in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com" ] ================================================================== |