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TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- PETS
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The Taste Cats Love
July 14, 2003
NOTE FROM THE LIST VET:
Four city policemen and three state conservation officers
spent a day following a 300-pound black bear as it took a
short tour of Elmira, New York. Its activities included
a visit downtown, swimming across the Chemung River and scaling
a flood control wall. The bear eventually retreated safely
into the hills south of town.
The Top 10 Items on the Itinerary of a Bear on the Town
10> Hang out with Robin Williams, exchange body-hair care tips.
9> Kick some panda and koala butt. Poseurs.
8> Pick up a hooker dressed like Goldilocks, serve her some "love
porridge."
7> Purchase some sexual aids for frigid polar bear wife.
6> Picanic basket, schmicanic basket. There's a hot dog stand on
the corner with "Yogi" written ALL over it.
5> Go down to Wall Street and beat the crap out of that bull once
and for all.
4> Play dead in front of the fireplace at the Playboy Mansion.
3> Same as every other tourist: Stare at the tall buildings, ride
on the subway, maim a mime, visit the museums....
2> Poop indoors.
and the Number 1 Item on the Itinerary
of a Bear on the Town...
1> Walk into a bar and order a beer. Maul the bartender when he
tries to charge $10.
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
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Selected from 28 submissions from 10 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS -- 1 (3rd #1)
Virgil Steigerwald, Cleveland, OH -- 2, 6, Topic
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA -- 3, 10
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia -- 4, 9
Dave Ferry, Purvis, MS -- 5
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH -- 7
Brad Wilkerson, El Sobrante, CA -- 8
Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 8
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- List Vet
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